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how to flirt with a guy over text without coming off too strong or desperate.


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Many people think that flirting over text is the easiest form of flirting. After all, you can see exactly what they’re saying and it’s hard to misread their tone of voice.

But this isn’t always true.

In fact, sometimes a little goes a long way when it comes to texting someone you like or even just want to talk with more.

Here are some tips on how to flirt with a guy over text without coming off too strong or desperate:

1. Use emoticons to show your feelings

2. Avoid sending the same text over and over again

3. Be aware of what you’re saying before sending it – don’t send things that could be misconstrued or taken the wrong way

4. Try using words like “haha” or “lol” when you can, but don’t do it too much because then he’ll know you’re trying to flirt with him

5. Make sure to use a lot of exclamation points!!! This is how people usually know someone’s flirting in person!

6. Keep in mind that guys are more visual than girls, so try adding some pictures if possible! If not, at least add something interesting in your

1. Use emoticons to show your feelings

For example, 😛 can be used to represent a smile while 🙁 represents a frown. (;-) (><) are both shy-looking emoticons.

These three are just examples of how you can use emoticons to show yourself feeling various emotions in text conversations.

2. Avoid sending the same text over and over again

This is a rookie mistake that will only lead him to be more and more turned off by your texts.

Quality is key- so don’t settle for less than what you want and deserve!

3. Avoid auto-correcting words

The worst thing about texting is when it autocorrects the word you’re trying to say into some ridiculous, embarrassing typo that sounds like gibberish or some other language that he probably doesn’t understand (unless he’s as illiterate as you).

Make sure to proofread before sending any texts; we wouldn’t want you to send him a message saying “I love yo u” instead of “love you.”

4. Try using words like “haha” or “lol” when you can, but don’t do it too much because then he’ll know you’re trying to flirt with him

When flirting with a guy over text, there are a few rules you should follow to make your intentions clear.

One way would be to use words like “haha” or “lol” when you can, but not too much because then he’ll know you’re trying to flirt with him.

You should always try to keep things light and playful by being silly and teasing rather than being too straightforward.

You want him to think that playing around with you is an enjoyable experience, not a bore or chore.

This means that putting too much pressure on him can backfire and just drive him away.

When responding to his texts, don’t take so long before responding because he might already have moved on from waiting for your reply.

Here is how to flirt with a guy over text?

#1 Responding to texts the day they’re sent

Many times when a guy sends you a text, he is hoping for an immediate response. So whether it’s “hey what are you up to?” or “I’m so sorry about our relationship,” reply back within minutes of getting the text.

#2 Packing it up with compliments

If you want to flirt with him over the phone, there are all kinds of ways to do it.

One way is by holding off on asking any questions and instead of complimenting him. Try something like “You look so good today!” over text and see what happens.

#3 Asking the right questions:

You can ask him a question or two if you want, but try to keep it simple and hold off on asking anything that requires more than a yes or no answer.

Questions such as “Do you think we could ever be friends?” should be saved for when the two of you are face-to-face.

#4 Taking forever to get back to his texts:

Guys hate waiting for girls to get back to them so they will often time take forever getting back to guys’ texts too.

So don’t leave your boyfriend hanging; he’ll wonder if there’s someone else in the picture! Reply within minutes of getting his text and he will be happy.

#5 Replying with a one-liner:

Sometimes, it’s tempting to reply with something like “k” or “word”.

But these boring responses don’t leave much room for conversation.

So try adding just a little something else to your response.

For example, instead of replying with just a word, try sending an emoji or two.

#6 Keeping it light with emojis:

They are fun, especially when trying to flirt with a cute guy. You don’t want your conversation to get boring or serious, so try throwing in an emoji every now and then.

#7 Asking about him versus talking about yourself:

If you’re on the phone with a guy you like, resist the urge to blab about yourself.

It will make you seem self-centered while he’s really interested in getting to know more about what’s going on in his life.

So if he asks what you’ve been up to lately, keep it light and brief!

#8 Getting too personal:

Unless you’ve been talking to each other for a while and you feel like he is comfortable with your level of closeness and knows the real you, refrain from asking too much about his personal life.

No guy wants to tell someone he just met where he went last night or how he feels about certain things.

#9 Listening more than talking:

A conversation is generally two-sided; everyone needs time to speak and time to listen. So make sure you’re doing both when flirting with him over the phone.

#10 Keeping the conversation going:

If you find it difficult to think of things to say, try letting him do some of the work. Asking him simple questions such as “How was your day?” will get him talking about himself without sounding like you’re prying too much.

#11 Steering clear of sensitive topics:

No matter how much you trust the guy you’re talking to, never share anything too personal or sensitive when flirting with him via text.

You don’t want to be sharing your problems and he doesn’t want to hear them either.

#12 Letting him talk about himself:

Guys love talking about themselves so let him! Ask questions that are open-ended like “What are your future plans?” or “Did something interesting happen at school today?”

When you ask these types of questions, he’ll enjoy telling you all about his life without being bored in the process.

#13 Sending texts when it’s convenient for both of you:

If he has a busy schedule, try sending short messages here and there throughout the day.

This way you’re still communicating but it won’t interfere with his daily activities.

#14 Telling jokes:

When flirting over text, sometimes it’s fun to try your hand at telling a good joke or two. Find one that is light and funny so he’ll keep reading!

Then again, telling jokes can be risky since they may not always hit the mark.

So don’t tell any offensive ones or ones that are too suggestive or inappropriate – save those for when you’re face-to-face!

#15 Picking up on his nonverbal cues:

Sometimes tone can get lost in translation especially if you’re using words over the phone instead of speaking directly to him in person.

To confusion, pick up on the nonverbal cues he gives while talking to you. If his voice sounds excited or he is saying things that are flirtatious, then chances are that’s how he feels!

#16 Escalating the conversation to something more personal:

Slowly work your way up to asking him more personal questions when flirting with him over text.

If you already know he’s single, ask if he has ever had a serious girlfriend or any type of relationship.

You can even try asking what his idea of the perfect girl is or what makes a woman sexy. Just remember to take it slowly!

#17 Keeping your texts short and sweet:

Keep your messages short and simple so he doesn’t get bored trying to read them!

Also, guys tend to get suspicious if they feel like you’re chatting them up just for the heck of it; once in a while is fine but sending too many messages in a row gets overwhelming and can be misconstrued as desperate.

#18 Asking for advice:

A good way to flirt with him is to ask for his advice on something you’re dealing with. It makes the conversation more personal, giving him the impression that you trust his opinion and value his insight.

#19 Sharing funny links or YouTube videos:

You don’t have to always talk about serious topics all the time since guys sometimes like it when girls are goofy every now and then.

By sharing a link or video of something humorous, you’re inviting him into your lighthearted world where he not only sees how fun-loving you are but also gets to know a little bit more about your sense of humor.

#20 Giving him room to ask you questions too:

At the end of your conversations, don’t forget to give him the opportunity to ask you questions about yourself so he feels like he’s getting to know who you are beyond just flirting with him via text!

It also keeps the conversation going for both of you.

#21 Using emoticons if desired:

Guys love it when girls use emoticons because it makes them smile and feel like they’re hanging out face-to-face – even though they’re not!

Be creative but make sure to use appropriate ones; naughty or sexual ones should be saved only for when you see each other in person.

#22 Letting silence linger:

If there is a lull in the conversation or he seems to be taking a while to answer you, let some silence hang in the air.

There’s nothing wrong with letting him think about what he wants to say next so he can respond appropriately where flirting is involved.

#23 Sending phrases that are flirtatious:

When all else fails, sending him little snippets of text that are flirtatious is always an easy way to get his attention and make him like you more!

Phrases like “I miss you” or “What are you doing?” show your interest without being too aggressive; after all, it’s fun for guys when girls come across as confident and coy at the same time instead of overly eager.

#24 Staying confident in everything you say:

When flirting with him, it’s important to stick to your guns.

No matter what he says don’t get overly emotional or defensive – that would make things awkward fast!

Keep cool and be open when conversing by not taking anything the wrong way.

#25 Sending texts at appropriate times of day:

If you’re trying to flirt through text messaging with a guy, make sure you send him messages during the time he is most likely to reply.

For example, if he’s usually in a class all morning long then sending him a message in between classes when his phone is more accessible is better than sending it while he’s probably asleep since school just ended for the day.

#26 Using humor at your advantage:

One of the best ways to flirt with him is by employing some humor!

Whether you send an amusing picture or start a funny conversation, he’s bound to laugh and appreciate your lighthearted manner.

Just make sure not to be too cheesy because guys go crazy over girls who can laugh at themselves without being too corny or desperate for their attention.

#27 Using his name in messages:

Guys love it when girls use their names in text messages since it makes everything more personalized.

If you’re scared of coming off as weird just remember that the only way to find out whether he’ll like it is if you try!

You could say things like “What are you up to today, John?” or “I’m hoping my favorite movie, John Tucker Must Die, is playing tonight.”

#28 Asking what’s on his mind:

If there’s a lull in the conversation or you feel like something is missing from your texts, don’t be afraid to ask him what he thinks about certain things.

For example, “What are you up to today?” shows that you’re curious about his thoughts without being too pushy!

It also creates opportunities for him to talk about himself and tell you more about who he really is.

#29 Not pretending that everything is perfect if it isn’t:

One of the worst mistakes girls make when trying to flirt with guys over text messages is faking their emotions so they come off as perfectly fine all the time – even when they aren’t.

If you’re feeling lonely or insecure, it’s okay to send messages like “I’m having a rough day and could use some cheering up” because guys love emotional honesty.

#30 Sending messages that make him feel lucky:

Did he mention something about going on a hike? If so, sending messages like “It sounds like you know the best trails around here.

I hope you’re enjoying time off with your friends!” is sure to get his attention and let him know that you’d love to go hiking too!

Even if he doesn’t read into it as flirting, he’ll definitely appreciate your interest in what interests him.

#31 Playing hard to get:

One of the best ways to flirt with a guy is by playing hard to get!

If you act like you’re busy when he tries to hang out with you, he’ll be desperate for your attention before too long. T

his strategy can also help if you’re trying to slow things down and not come on too strong.

#32 Flattering him with compliments:

If there’s one thing guys love it’s being flattered, so complimenting his good qualities is a surefire way to catch his attention and keep him interested in who you are as a person.

You don’t have to go overboard – just saying something nice about how nice his smile looks from across the room will do fine!

#32 Making him feel like his opinion matters:

Another great way to flirt with a guy is by making sure that he knows his opinion still matters.

Before you send messages, act like you’re thinking about what he thinks beforehand – whether it’s over text or even in person.

Ask for his opinion on something and say how much it means to you so he really feels respected.

#32 Prefacing your messages with questions:

Using questions before asking for things shows that you aren’t trying to take advantage of him and are just looking for guidance or help with something simple.

You can ask if he minds helping you study later on tonight, if he’d be interested in hanging out this weekend at the movies, etc.

Just make not to ask too many questions in a row, which can come off as desperate!

#33 Telling him how you feel:

One of the most important things to remember when flirting is that it’s okay to tell a guy how you’re feeling.

Just try not to be too intense and come on too strong if you’re worried about scaring him off or making things awkward between the two of you – one message at a time will do just fine!

#34 Connecting with his sense of humor:

If your conversations are fun, he’ll always want to hang out with you again so connecting with someone through their sense of humor is one great way to flirt without coming off as desperate.

Even if you aren’t funny yourself, complimenting something he said in response to something funny is a surefire way to get laughing and interested in who you are as a person!

#35 Leaving him wanting more:

One of the best ways to flirt with a guy is by leaving him wanting more. If he asks you if you’re free one weekend and you say “I might be” even though you’re definitely not planning to.

he’ll definitely be back for another date with you because girls that play hard to get always get what they want!

#36 Remembering what he likes:

Guys love flattery, so if you remember something he’s told you or that you saw him reading last week about his favorite sports team or type of music it’ll make him feel like you really care instead of just trying to flirt with him.

It shows that you’re interested in who he is as a person and not just looking for someone to go out with!

#37 Moved by your first name:

Even if your first names are completely different, saying “I’ve always loved the name ___” sincerely will show how much respect you have for things that are important to him – even his name!

If nothing else, simply promising not to change your own might be enough to get him interested after all!

#38 Sticking to the truth:

Guys are really into hearing that you’re interested in them because it means they aren’t wasting their time, but lying about your feelings will only make things awkward for both of you.

Steer clear of having to say something that isn’t true or never back down from what you’re feeling – if he’s not into it then it’s better to know sooner than later so no one gets hurt!

#39 Believing in him:

Showing that you have faith in someone is one of the most attractive things there is, so if he says he’s going to message or call you later on – believe him.

Make sure that you’re not being too pushy by saying “I know you will!!” after he promises to get in touch with you because it’ll make him feel like his word isn’t good enough.

#40 Hanging out in real life:

One really great way to flirt with a guy is by having fun when you do hang out together face-to-face.

If all of your dates are full of laughter and smiles then he’ll always want to see more of who you are!

Don’t be afraid to throw some compliments into the mix to make it fun, too.

#41 Leaving things open-ended:

Even if you’re not asking him on a date, leave some room for the possibility of one by saying “We should hang out soon” or “let’s do something outside sometimes.”

It shows that you’re flexible and easygoing without being too intense about wanting to see him again!

#42 Teasing him:

People love being teased when they know it’s all in good fun and a great way to flirt is by having a little bit of banter – even if it means being sarcastic about something he did or said.

Just be careful with how to mean your teasing is because no one likes someone who’s really harsh! Keep it light and have fun with it so he knows you’re not trying to be mean.

#43 Giving guys a chance:

If you keep saying “no” to every guy who asks you out, no one will ever want to ask you out again!

Try going on at least a couple of dates with people that ask you even if they’re not your type – over time it’ll help you build the confidence necessary for dating and lead to more potential suitors in the future!

#44 Being yourself:

Letting him see the real version of yourself is always best when it comes time for flirting because showing off only your best angles or perfect body isn’t what most guys are looking for.

At the end of the day, all anyone wants is someone who’s fun and down to Earth – so make sure he gets that by being yourself!

#45 Making plans after the first date:

Even if you really want to see him again, don’t ask when he can see or call you before your next date together.

It shows how much interest you have but isn’t always fair for guys since they aren’t always able to keep in touch.

If he likes you too, he’ll try to make plans with you after your first date together.

#46 Being a challenge:

No one likes being told what they can and can’t have, so don’t say something like “I’m not going to go out with you” or “I just want to be friends.”

It’s actually really attractive when people are difficult to get because it means that they’re unique, but make sure it doesn’t seem like you playing too hard to get!

#47 Making personal revelations:

Asking him questions about himself is a good way to flirt with a guy without saying anything too forward.

If the conversation starts dying down or he seems bored, tell him something personal about yourself – as long as it relates back to his interests!

He’ll stay engaged in the conversation and keep asking you questions if things start to slow down.

#48 Knowing when to stop:

If a guy’s not into you then it’s usually pretty easy to tell by the way he talks and acts around you – but don’t think that means you should give up!

Sure, it might be a hard rejection to hear directly from him but showing too much interest right away can make things seem desperate or pathetic.

Give him space and time to come back around if he seems hesitant about getting closer.

#49 Being energetic:

Don’t try to be someone who you’re not because trying too hard is really gauche in most social situations, especially with guys.

It may take time for them to warm up and find your sense of humor cute instead of annoying so just keep being yourself and soon you’ll be his favorite “weird” girl in town!

#50 Not going overboard:

It’s fun to flirt with a guy, but make sure you don’t go too far.

If he starts telling you things about past relationships or exes, leave it alone and change the subject – even if it seems like he might need someone to talk to.

He just might feel more comfortable sharing that kind of info with someone new instead of an old friend who knows his history.

If he stops himself from talking then drop it because that means he isn’t ready for that yet!

Conclusion: how to flirt with a guy over text?

By now hopefully, you have an idea of how to flirt with a guy text messages so there should be no reason to worry about coming off too strong or not making an impression.

Flirt with him enough so he’ll want to see you in person, but don’t send him mixed signals because it can be confusing and frustrating for everyone involved.

If you need more help then check out this article on how to flirt with a guy over text – all your questions will be answered there!

Good luck!