How To Get Your Ex Back Fast By Text Message

How does the No Contact rule work?

There are psychological proven reasons behind this No Contact rule; the very reason is called Reactance.

According to Wikipedia, Reactance (psychology) is a motivational reaction when ‘behavioral freedoms’ are being taken away.

Reactance happens when someone is heavily pressured to accept a certain view or attitude; then it will cause the person to adopt or strengthen the opposite view or attitude.

People are often using reverse psychology to play Reactance; an attempt to influence someone to choose the opposite of what they request.

You may be wondering now how does it relate to The No Contact Rule? Read on…

When you apply this rule on your ex, you’ll make your ex feel that you are depriving him or her of HIS and HER freedom to talk to you.

This is very powerful as it will trigger his or her motivational reaction (reactance) to get that freedom back.

By doing that, he or she will start to put in an effort to get your attention, as your ex wants to feel that he or she has his or her freedom to talk to you.

During the no contact period, you are not only triggering your ex’s reactance but also creating space to make your ex MISS you.

It is not difficult to understand that your ex will not miss you if you keep in constant contact with him or her, right?

After a relationship ends, if you took the initiative to contact your exes will naturally make them have the sense of satisfaction that you are still interested in them.

However, if you keep cool and never contact your exes will make them wonder whether you have already moved on? This will cause your exes to initiate things to get you back.

Did you get the point now? Hopefully, you understand why it is important and necessary to follow the no contact rule.

If you happen to contact your ex, don’t worry too much, you can’t do much for the things that have been done. Just remind yourself not to do it again and start your no contact period again.

Use ‘reverse psychology’ to win back your ex?

Of course, you can contact your ex if there is an emergency case, but don’t purposely find an ‘Emergency Excuses’ to contact your ex.

If you have to contact your ex because of your children, just make sure to keep the focus on your children ONLY, nothing about you and if she/he asks, just politely ignore.

If you have followed the no contact rule, what should you do next? Let’s understand where the text messages fit into the strategy of getting your ex back.

Make Your Ex BEG You To Take Them Back?

By now, you should know that text message plays a critical role in our strategy to win your ex back.

Because it is the first contact with your ex after the no contact period. If you know the right texts to send your ex at the right time, then it will help you to move to the next level quickly (phone calls and a date).

Texting your ex is indeed critical and risky, but it has not to be very complicated if you understand the basics.

Here are the two main objectives you need to achieve when texting your ex:

1. 1. Make your ex CRAVE for your text more.
   2. Trigger your ex to wanting to take it to the next level.

In other words, your text message needs to arouse a positive response.

And the ‘Golden Rule’ here is NEVER sending NEGATIVE text messages to your ex. Don’t spread any negative vibes, as it will never do any good.

Before learning the tips on how to get your ex back fast by text message, it is important to understand the common texting mistakes.

Sometimes I heard people say that it is not possible to get your ex back by text message. In fact, those people don’t really understand the rules of sending text messages to an ex.

Hence many people have made mistakes when they try to get their exes back by text message. As those mistakes can really decrease your chances of rekindling your relationship with your ex.

Revive the ‘spark’ with your ex?

Mistake #1: Full of “HATRED” text messages

Of course, I understand sometimes breakups can be really painful and tough. You may experience an emotional roller coaster after breakups, hence you may not be able to think clearly.

All the negative feelings and thoughts will cause you to blame your ex, because of your anger and resentments. But stop playing the blame game, as it won’t help you at all.

But you must keep a cool mind before venting those things to your ex, NEVER send any hatred text messages to your ex. It will only ruin your chance of rebuilding a relationship with him or her.

It is normal to feel angry and emotional after a relationship ended, but don’t indulge yourself too much in such negative emotions. You can’t change whatever had happened, and there is no point to blame your ex at this point in time.

Often, people tend to get themselves into an emotional rut without realizing it. Just remember that this won’t do any good to you or your relationship. 

So if ever you wanted to send any hatred text messages to your ex, get rid of this thought immediately!

Mistake #2: Go crazy about texts

When people experience the emotional roller coaster after breakups, people tend to send many texts to their exes without self-control.

By doing so, you will only annoy your ex. Just think about it, you also don’t like to receive non-stop messages right? 

If you want to learn how to get your ex back fast by text message, this is the message you can’t send to your ex. As it will only make your ex feel sorry for you. And indirectly, you are hinting to your ex that she or he has made the right decision; because you are emotionally unstable, desperate, and have low self-respect.

Mistake #3 – Negative emotional text messages

Any negative or overly emotional text messages will make you look needy and pathetic. They will kill any sort of attraction that your ex has for you.

You might think those messages sound kinds of sweet and loving, but in fact, it’s showing too much ‘neediness’ of you. Especially sending those text messages to your ex after your breakup. This will actually make him want to pull away. 

The key rule to get your ex back is to send texts that are positive, light, and interesting, which will make your ex feel happy and positive too.

It will help to remind him or her about the great times you had together before, so that triggers your ex to want you back.

Top 3 Sample Texts To Get Your Ex Back Fast

Now, I assume that you have done the above things I recommended. Then I believe that you are at the right place to start your first text message that will help you to get your ex back.

First of all, please adjust your emotion to the “neutral level”, just be cool…

Remember the critical thing here is to build a positive first impression on your ex through text messages. Don’t desperately demand your ex to come back to you immediately after sending several texts, it needs a bit more time to rebuild the connection. 

Take things one step at a time, you will be amazed by the results eventually. So it’s important to set your expectation and emotion right!

Don’t worry if you are not sure what to text your ex after no contact, I’ve listed 3 top text samples below for your reference. However, if you are looking for a full list of sample text messages, you can check out The Ex Factor.

Sample Text Message 1: Interesting text message

Send something interesting that will arouse your ex’s interest and make him or her feel happy. You don’t have to start sending a boring message like “Hey, how’re you?”

Send something fun and happy, make your ex feel a positive vibe from your text, and add some value in the meantime.

Happiness is contagious, send these 3 texts to make him smile. If you make your ex feel happy, you are increasing the chance that she or he will want to text you back. 

Sample Text Message 2: Remind the “Good Times” text message

Sending this type of message to remind your ex of the Good Times. The old good times will trigger your ex to miss you. 

Trigger nostalgia emotions are extremely powerful to rebuild the connection with your ex. It is a personal and powerful way to tap into your ex’s mind. As it will remind your ex about those amazing memories that you have shared while being together.

Indirectly, it will provoke your ex to think again about your relationship, the good times you shared. In addition, it’ll remind your ex of the obvious and good reasons why you were together.

The key is to use something very specific, unique, and personal between you guys, something only you two would understand.

Sending this type of text message to your ex will help to create a sense of belonging and unity between you two.

Sample Text Message 3: Envy text message

I am not a big fan of this type of message, as I wrote in another of my blog post on The best tips to deal with breakups, I suggest that you should not make your ex jealous. 

It’s effective only if you really know how to use it. But honestly, I think it’s a very tricky and risky approach.

Many people actually using this strategy to get more attention or re-spark the romance in a relationship. As it makes you more attractive and desirable when there is a third party in a relationship.

It works well for some couples, it doesn’t work for others…

So I want you to decide for yourself if you would like to use this approach for your relationship.

**Just two TIPS here:

DO NOT ever use this trick on anyone who’s extreme jealousy, insecure or emotional. This will only create more problems than making you more attractive!

Do Not use this type of message as the first message to send to your ex after no contact! You can only use this type of text after you’ve already built a pleasant connection with your ex.

Don’t get this part wrong, because it’s critical to your success.

1. Text Your Ex To Reconnect – 3 Rules When Texting Your Ex

Rule #1: Wait a moment in between texts

Actually many people are already applying this rule when they deal with their boss, friends or colleagues. As they don’t want to appear that they are 24/7 available for that person. Why not also adapt this strategy to deal with your ex?

I know it might be difficult; especially since you are eager to start the conversation with your ex. But be cool with it; put a solid delay in between text messages.

This will help eliminate any sorts of needy, desperate notions in your ex’s mind. It’s a good approach to wait for a while to reply to your ex than reply immediately.

This will make your ex know that you have your life too, which makes you more attractive. And also remember to limit the number of texts you are exchanging with your ex. Especially when you started to build the connection with your ex after the no contact period.

Rule #2: Keep text messages or replies briefly

Don’t try to write long text messages; it will only make you look desperate for attention.

A better way to do this is to send text messages as short as possible remember the basic rules, keep the topic positive, light and interesting.

I am not suggesting you just reply yes or no, good or bad. This type of brief text message will kill your conversation or make you appear to be boring or weird.

Use ‘reverse psychology’ to win back your ex?

Rule #3: No drama, please!

Don’t start the drama! Maybe drama is one of the reasons your ex can’t stand with. It’s also a sign of a toxic relationship. So don’t remind your ex with the unpleasant times again!

There is no point to blame your ex at this point in time! No need to discuss your past relationship! Importantly, spread happy and positive vibes only.

It’s important for you not to ask them whether they are dating anyone right now? Don’t create drama stories to get attention, sympathy, or any sort of emotional support.

When you start drama while texting your ex, it will immediately turn him or her off. No one likes to deal with the drama situation! Creating drama will only reaffirm your ex for the right decision to leave you. So NO DRAMA PLEASE!

This is a very important tip when comes to how to get your ex back fast by text message!

2. Text your ex to arrange a ‘Date’

After several times exchanging text messages with your ex (assume that you’ve done the right way), your ex will initiate a date with you.

If your ex has not done anything yet, don’t be disappointed, some people might need a longer time to get reconnected. But what you can do is to text your ex to arrange an informal date.

The point here is that you don’t have to make it sound so formal or forceful. It can be done naturally after you have already built a good rapport with your ex again.

Don’t mention any date in your text or phone calls. Try to get your ex to start talking over the phone, it will help to better the connection faster.

Just communicate a casual sentiment when you try to arrange a date with your ex while texting messages.

In my opinion, the best way to get a date is to have an honest and sound reason to make your ex wants to see you willingly.

Conclusion

If you’ve decided that you should get back together with your ex; then you use the above tips to get your ex back by text message. As text message is the preferred communication method most people would go for. It’s a simple yet powerful way to connect with a person.

Hope this article gives you some ideas on how to get your ex back fast by text message. It’s your turn to take the above suggestions seriously and work out your personal ‘game plan’. I am confident that you’ll witness the magic of how to get your ex back fast by text message.