Today’s question is should you wait for him?
This is Jones and my question to you today is how long would you give a guy who needs to step up in a relationship with you to actually step up well on today’s episode.
I will be guiding you through three powerful questions that can help you make this determination with a lot more strength and courage so stick around.
I’m going to be guiding you through three considerations to take into account. If you are in a relationship with a man who needs to change something either a step up and be a man and ask for commitment or deepen the commitment or to change some habit that is destructive to the relationship and it’s hurting you but he hasn’t really changed.
So three questions that can help, you know, if it’s a better idea for you to give them more time or move away and let him deal with this stuff on his own. The first question is.
- Is he aware of this challenge is not just intellectually, but emotionally very important consideration?
He could be mentally aware but not emotionally connected to how much this is hurting you.
So if he’s intellectually aware, but not emotionally connected he needs to You’re out you need to figure out a way to have him understand your pain because if he’s not feeling you like what he’s going to change is significantly exponentially smaller than if he is feeling you so the first one is does he get it? does he know this change needed?
- Does he want to change does he want to move forward? Does he have a vision?
For example, if you’re talking about commitment does he have the same vision that you do in terms of what the end goal looks like because if he’s going different you’re going to China and he is going to Egypt.
Well, those pets are not going to cross my dear. So if both if he’s going in the same direction that you’re going then you can evaluate the third question, but if he’s not going the same direction, you’re going all the city in the world all the waiting all the hoping is that going to change that so V very very it’s very very important that you take into account.
Really, what does he really want, and does that fit into what you really want if we’re not talking about commitment, but we’re talking about a Chabot? Maybe he’s super jealous, right? And you need to change it. Does he want to change it or does he feel he’s entitled to by virtue of being a man to own you in some way?
Okay, level question number three crucial quintessential important write this stuff down.
- Is he doing something practical actionable and measurable to change?
this because having clear intentions is a good start, but it’s just a start is he doing something about it? And it’s what he’s if what he’s doing is creating progress.
You can evaluate if what he’s doing is not creating progress It’s Time to change it if he’s not doing anything to make it happen.
All the hoping in the world is not going to change some bad habits.
So there you have it. Number one. You see a word of it number two. Does he want to change a number three is he doing something specific going to therapy? That’s what’s needed going to coaching getting training in it getting accountability through somebody else like something that allows you to know that there’s a real movement versus just promises.
Hope this question of should you wait for him was helpful, useful, and insightful then please share.
Thank you so much for connecting with me as always.