what you will learn today
Hello, this is Jones and if you’ve been played by a man perhaps more than once and you want to know the “Signs He’s a Player” and you want to ensure that stops today Well, on today’s episode I’m gonna be sharing with you how to significantly reduce the risk of being played by men. so stick with me.
Hello this is Jones welcome to love tips secrets a space where I share with conscious ambitious heart-centered and successful women how you can create the relationship of your dreams that track the kind of guy you want without any type of gimmicks or manipulation and as a result of stepping to the most alive and the most feminine version of you.
Let us define the term played.
Now the first thing I have to say to you right now is that not all women who feel played were really played and it’s important for you to have the right definition of being played. so that you have the opportunity to change in the future. So the first One of the signs he’s a player is and I’m going to say there are four types of being played but only one of them in my mind is being played.
The first type would be where a guy pretty in a pre-emptive. he premeditates this playing you. He wants to get something from you and he schemes and he manipulates only to get that thing and when he gets his thing whether it’s having sex with you whether it’s cash from you whether it’s status from association from your friends anything then he gets what he wants, and then he can move on or he drops you quickly right that’s premeditated.
That’s a true being played by a guy. Now I’m gonna say to you right now that the vast majority of women who feel played by men do not fit into this category. This would probably be the smallest category of all of them. The other ones are just confusing stages that are not really being played but feel that way.
The second One of the signs he’s a player is a misalignment. What does that mean? That means that your vision for the life the love the future that you want. his vision for the life the love of the future that he wants or the way to go about it is not in agreement and both of you, not just him did not communicate at the level that you needed to understand.
This was the case so, obviously when you found out it’s a mismatch he doesn’t want children and, I do or he doesn’t want marriage and I do or vice-versa then you say well, man I wasted all this time. he was just wasting my time he played me and maybe it was just both of you didn’t know how to communicate with each other he didn’t play you. He just didn’t ask questions. that happens a lot.
A change of heart.
The third One of the signs he’s a player would be when there’s a change of heart. This feels painful sometimes because the guy starts out one way and then ends up a different way, that means he starts by saying, “I want children I want marriage I want deep devotional love I want monogamy.” and then halfway in between he changes his mind on either what he wants in those different factors or who he wants it with right and that feels like he played you but he didn’t play you.
Maybe he just changed his heart. Now there are ways to do it that are honoring and there are ways to do it that are not honoring, but everybody you included are allowed to change your mind. Now the challenging piece for most women who tell me there’s a change of heart is that they noticed something was off, something was not where it needed to be and they let it go. They pushed it down they didn’t ask the right questions, then they didn’t set a strong boundary and then hit the fan eventually
But it could have been avoided or at least a caught off sooner than it happened have both of you have the clarity and the courage to ask the right questions and the set of my boundaries. So that’s another one change of heart not necessarily being played. it’s you because I hear from lots of women who changed their mind in the middle of a relationship and say to a guy. “I can no longer do this”.
The last One of the signs he’s a player is confusion and this one is challenging because sometimes the guy is confused. He’s confused from the start and you confused you yourself confused. the intensity you feel for him for well, it’s so intense that it must be right. It must be my soul mate and it’s not he’s just a guy who’s confused. He doesn’t know what the hell he wants he’s not doing what he needs to do to get his life in order.he’s finances in order and
He doesn’t have what it takes to step into a long-term relationship because he can’t metaphorically wipe his own ass. How can he step into something that requires devotion and giving of himself and surrendering? but if you connect to a confused guy because he tells you that he loves you and because he really wants to be with you, even though he can’t. it feels like he played you, so I just want to make sure that you understand that not all times you say I was played , you were really played.
Now here are things you can do right now that you understand the truth of this to mitigate. the risk of being the plate or experiencing this misalignment, change of hardware confusion and lastly the signs he’s a player.
Get clear on what you want.
The first one is get clear on what you want. Why do I start with that? because I’ve connected with tons of women when I ask them what do you want? they give me a vague answer and when I ask them do you want children? they lie to themselves sometimes and they say yes I do. When they don’t or they say I don’t really think I do. When they do so be very clear as to what you want because if you want for example monogamy versus an open relationship.
It matters with the type of guy you connect with. If you want children versus no children or you’re open but not necessarily attached to it, it matters right because guys want different things. Do you want marriage or not? do you want that piece of paper that says we’re legally bound to each other? or do you not care about it?
It matters all those little things and the type of vision that you have for the future. The types of things you want to do .you like traveling or not. get clear in what it is that you want so that when you connect to a man, you can say you know what it’s similar to what I want similar enough to where I’m willing to compromise or to different and I’m not willing to compromise.
Ask better questions earlier on.
The second thing you can do to reduce the risk of feeling played is asking better questions earlier on. What does that mean? it means that if you connect to a man who is not wanting the kind of vision that you hope for yourself, for your life, for your intimacy, and you find out month number six or seven or eight or year, that it’s not what you want and you really could have asked that question on the first date and
Many times you can then you’re doing yourself the service. the biggest problem I found in terms of women is not asking good questions earlier on as they feel I don’t want to pressure him. I don’t want you to think I’m desperate .it’s not about being desperate, you’re not asking him .”do you see yourself having or giving me babies”? no, you ask him are you interested in having children at some point in your life awesome’
I mean like when do you see that happening? why is that exciting for you, you can ask questions that relate to him that don’t necessarily include you in the picture and get a clear yes a clear no or a maybe and based on that you can either invest more time or cut your losses way shorter?
What does that mean? you can have a guy who’s rooming or Hafeez embodied into manhood and he can tell you the most beautiful poetry and she can light up your ears with passion and words and just beautiful expressions of himself.
The actions he takes are far more significant than the words he utters because anyone who has a passionate heart can get ahead of himself and say things that he either doesn’t really mean or that he means, but doesn’t have the God Leone colonial cojones or testicles or balls.
In short to follow through and actually make it happen right so you want a guy with a strong sense of manhood in himself. metaphorically speaking, so that he can take action on the words that he says that he’s interested in. So if he says. “I love you.” well what’s the proof of that in real action. I’m really interested in whatever like. is he really taking action? that’s where I would focus my mind in versus just the words he’s saying. I mean saying words are not important words are very important but they’re more not more important than actions
Take longer to become exclusive.
The last one is taking longer to become exclusive. why? When you connect to a man you get really attached, you get emotionally connected you get physically, sexually connected, and then letting go of him is way harder even when he’s not the right fit, even when he’s doing things that he shouldn’t be doing to be a monogamous relationship.
So if you take longer to connect with him, if you take longer to be exclusive you take longer to even have sex with him. all those things then your rational mind will have more time to gauge and put some stops and see red flags that you would not have seen
If you happen to go all on the first date. I hear women who tell me burned you just don’t understand I just met this guy last week but it feels like I’ve known him forever and I say I know it feels that way but it’s not true. You don’t know him for real you don’t know him even though your soul feels like you do.
Now is it possible that your hypothesis is right? It’s possible but it’s not a given so take longer to actually tell yourself that you really know him when you just feel connected with him but you didn’t always hope.
You have read this list of signs he’s a player and you’re like “oh yeah, jones. This guy is totally a player.”
The question is, what will you do now? You respect yourself too much to let this man play you, and he’s just a roadblock on your way to finding true love. So don’t waste a single second on him. And don’t try to play games to give him a taste of his own medicine either. Just exit stage left as quickly as possible.
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