what you will learn today
- 1. Keep the conversation light and interesting
- 2. Use flirty questions at times
- 3. Avoid too many questions
- 4. Show genuine interest in who he is as a person
- 5. Avoid saying too much about yourself right away
- 6. Try not to ask about his feelings too early
- 7. Don’t be afraid to have a conversation from beginning to end
- 8. Be positive at all times
- 9. Be yourself and don’t try too hard
- 10. Avoid sharing your problems with someone you’ve just met
- 11. Don’t ask for too many favors right away
- 12. Try becoming friends first before moving onto anything further
- 13. Ask questions and try to avoid talking about yourself for too long
- 14. Don’t text at odd times of the day
- 15. Don’t tell them your feelings since it may scare them away
- 16. Avoid getting too personal when talking about yourself
- 17. Avoid talking about courtship and their desire for a relationship
- 18. Do not try getting too physical with someone who doesn’t want anything physical yet
- 19. Don’t pressure them into feeling obligated to talk with you just because they have been talking all night long
- 20. When things seem awkward, allow yourself time apart so that both parties can miss each other
- Conclusion: What to talk about with a guy over text
Texting is a powerful, effective form of communication. It allows people to stay connected and get in touch without having to be in one another’s physical presence.
The following article will cover what you can talk about with a guy over text, as well as some things that should never be said at all when texting with someone for the first time.
1. Keep the conversation light and interesting
The best way to keep your first text conversation with a guy going is to be sure that you are talking about topics that he will find interesting or fun.
You don’t want to start talking about heavy subjects right away, because it can be jarring for someone if they are expecting something simple to talk about.
For example, asking him what his biggest fear is may not be the best starting off-topic, even if it’s something that you would like to know more about.
2. Use flirty questions at times
An easy way of keeping the mood light yet still being able to show your interest in knowing more about this guy is by asking questions that are flirtatious in nature but also require a short, informational answer.
For example, you could ask him if he has ever been outside of the country and he will simply reply “yes” or “no,” but while doing so it’s almost like he is giving you a little bit more information about himself and it can make for a good conversation topic.
3. Avoid too many questions
While asking questions here and there is obviously fine to do when texting with someone, especially early on in the conversation, you shouldn’t go overboard with them because then it may come across as though that is all you want to talk about.
This could easily kill the mood because that type of conversation can get old really fast, even if you do have things in and would love to learn more about this guy.
4. Show genuine interest in who he is as a person
One powerful thing you can do when texting with a guy for the first time or if you have been talking to him for a while shows your sincere interest in who he is as a person and not just what he does for work or other aspects of his life that are considered “surface level.”
Try asking questions about his interests, what parts of himself he likes best, etc., so that it makes him want to share more information with you and continue to talk with you even after the conversation at hand has ended.
5. Avoid saying too much about yourself right away
When starting up a conversation over text, many people become to say something like “hi” or “hey,” and then go on to talk about all of the things that are going on in their lives at the moment.
While this may seem like a good thing to talk about with a guy, it is best for you to avoid going into too much detail right away because then you run the risk of coming across as though that is all you have going on in your life.
You also do not want to set up false expectations when talking with someone over text, so make sure what you say stays within reason before making any assumptions about anything else.
6. Try not to ask about his feelings too early
Asking a guy about his feelings is never a good idea when you first start talking to him.
This is because it can make him feel like you are rushing things and trying to get ahead of yourself after only knowing this person for a short amount of time
Which may lead to them not wanting to talk anymore or even worse, becoming annoyed and ending the conversation altogether.
7. Don’t be afraid to have a conversation from beginning to end
In today’s day and age, people seem to be driving themselves crazy trying to think of the perfect way to text someone in order for them not to get bored or annoyed, but the truth is that there is no “perfect” thing that you can send someone.
You could start a text message with an emoji and then follow it up with a long paragraph about what you did that day, then end your next text with nothing more than “k.”
There really isn’t anything wrong with talking throughout the entirety of the conversation instead of sending tons of little snippets back and forth like most people do today.
8. Be positive at all times
Being positive not only shows this guy how fun you can be to talk to, but it also makes it much easier for him to continue talking with you because he won’t feel like you are constantly beating down his spirit.
Try saying things that are uplifting or offer words of encouragement like “you’ll do great” if he is feeling nervous about something before an interview or big presentation, for example.
9. Be yourself and don’t try too hard
As mentioned above, you should make sure that you don’t go overboard trying to impress this guy when talking with them over text by not only asking questions like “have you ever been outside of the country?” (which may seem too personal too quickly) but also showing your interests in what they like as well.
For instance, if someone really loves video games and you end up talking with them in a chat room, don’t hesitate to go on about how much you love Mario Kart because they will be able to tell if it is fake or not.
10. Avoid sharing your problems with someone you’ve just met
While it may seem helpful to go on and on about how you are feeling, especially after a nerve-wracking day at work or if something particularly bad happened that day, always try to avoid going into too much detail when texting with someone you have just met.
They do not know the full situation yet and it can make them feel uncomfortable having to listen to all of your problems.
The last thing they will want is for things to become weird between you two because it makes them feel like they need to help you out or be there for you in some way when they barely even know who you are.
11. Don’t ask for too many favors right away
Asking this guy for a favor right away can make him feel as though you are only talking to them because you want something from them.
Even if all you need is a ride to work, don’t ask until it has been established that things will not become strange between the two of you later on down the road.
12. Try becoming friends first before moving onto anything further
Before you do anything else with this guy, try having fun and getting to know one another first by going out for coffee or watching a movie together instead of trying to be romantic right away.
Once the two of you have found something in common and spent some time simply acting like friends, then asking them out may not seem so strange after all since they already think of the both of you as being close to one another.
13. Ask questions and try to avoid talking about yourself for too long
People love a good listener and if you ask them a variety of questions this guy may find that he enjoys having conversations with you even more than he thought he would at the beginning which could lead to him wanting to talk with you more often or even at random times throughout the day.
Just make sure not to get too personal with your own questions because it can make things feel weird between the two of you, especially if they are sharing something truly private with you way too soon in the conversation.
14. Don’t text at odd times of the day
If he doesn’t answer when they first see your texts, don’t rush sending another one right away as this may annoy the other person and cause them not to reply at all.
When people don’t have time to talk or they are busy doing something important instead of just sitting around on their phone all day, they will tell you so by saying something along the lines of “Sorry, I’m really busy right now.
Can I text you later?” or “I can’t talk right now.”
This way they will know that you are someone who respects their time and acts like an adult instead of simply trying to get their attention and wasting it when it is not available.
15. Don’t tell them your feelings since it may scare them away
As mentioned above, this guy does not want to hear how deeply in love with them you already are after just meeting with them a few times under the context of simply chatting about what is going on in each other’s lives since he will likely start to feel uncomfortable.
maybe even scared at the prospect of having such strong emotions shared with him so quickly by someone they hardly even know.
Do not say anything like “I love you” or “I really like you a lot,” to this guy since it will almost certainly scare him away.
16. Avoid getting too personal when talking about yourself
While it may be tempting to tell someone all of the things going on in your life during a conversation, try not to share more than what is necessary.
If he brings up topics that make you feel uncomfortable then do not be afraid to let them know that you have shared enough for one day and would prefer if they stopped asking so many questions.
It can seem strange when someone cannot ever get a word in edgewise due to the other party always babbling on and on about everything happening in their lives without even listening to what the other person has to say.
17. Avoid talking about courtship and their desire for a relationship
While you may be curious as to whether or not this guy is interested in dating you, do not ask them point-blank about it since it will make them feel pressured into answering before they really have time to think things through.
Such situations often lead to people saying the wrong thing unintentionally without meaning any harm whatsoever.
If you are feeling anxious about where things stand between the two of you then try having fun together instead of asking serious questions that will only put more pressure on him than he deserves when all is said and done.
18. Do not try getting too physical with someone who doesn’t want anything physical yet
This guy does not want to kiss you or touch you right away when they do not know who you really are as a person.
So he will let you know if he is not interested in going down this road early on so that everyone can feel comfortable about what happens between the two of you.
Try touching one another lightly and casually to see how it feels for both parties first without leading things up until a point where one party simply cannot say no anymore because their willpower does not stand a chance against those hands wandering everywhere during those late-night chats.
19. Don’t pressure them into feeling obligated to talk with you just because they have been talking all night long
Sometimes people just want to go pass out from being tired but then someone keeps texting them and trying to make them stay up all night (even after they have already stayed talking to that person for hours on end).
This can make them feel obligated into continuing the conversation out of guilt or fear of it being “weird” if they were to simply stop responding at a certain point.
If you tell someone you need to go pass out from being tired then change your mind, don’t be afraid to say no when someone asks you a question.
20. When things seem awkward, allow yourself time apart so that both parties can miss each other
When two people have been hanging out with each other every single day without taking any breaks in between then one party may start feeling neglected since it will become harder and harder for them to miss one another even though they have not seen each other in person for so long.
If you feel yourself starting to get too close to someone who has not felt the same way about you, then allow yourself some time apart so that both of you can miss one another after an appropriate amount of time has passed.
Conclusion: What to talk about with a guy over text
There you have it. There are many other things to talk about with a guy over text, but this list can serve as a helpful guide to get you started on how you should start off texting with that special someone without coming off too strong or too weak.
It’s all about keeping things casual until both of you actually meet in person and then going from there…
everybody has their own style, so it is only natural for them to express themselves through what they write when texting someone new.
Some people will do better initially if they simply let the other party ask questions since it makes them seem less eager while others feel a bit more comfortable by sharing a lot right at the start because they are afraid of not being able to show how much they have in common later down the road.
People will also respond differently based on whether or not they like the other party and whether or not they feel confident about themselves, so it is important to be able to read between the lines and know when and where to strike up a conversation depending on what sort of person you are interacting with.
I hope you enjoyed reading this article on what to talk about with a guy over text. I would like to invite you to leave a comment below.
Also, feel free to check out some of my other articles on texts that were written from the perspective of guys and girls who liked each other for tips on where to take these conversations.